i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
