If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
