she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
