You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
50% drunk capacity currently
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
