Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
