is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
