just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
