The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
