some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you never un-have a 4some
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize