she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
