Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
