So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
