they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
