can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
