If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
