Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
