I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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