i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
