Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
