i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I need to stop coming to work sober
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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