New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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