They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
