im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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