marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
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