I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There are leaves in my underwear?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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