We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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