strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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