Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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