in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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