That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
