omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
