i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
