that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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