He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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