It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
