She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
