i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
