the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
