i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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