arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
