i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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