after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
