Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
