come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Text me some of your sweat
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
