Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
