Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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