stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
