Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
