I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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