this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize