Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hippo gnu deer
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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