ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
