Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
