Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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