The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
