Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
