I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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