This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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