Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
whose ass print is on the piano?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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